Livin’ Clear : Awareness, Discernment, Ownership

Updated: Dec 25, 2025

There’s a pattern here—and once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.

Like in Runaway Bride, where everyone thinks she loves their favorite kind of eggs, I realized I’ve been doing the same thing in relationships.

I like what he likes.

I value what he values.

I adapt. I adjust. I agree.

It never feels like losing myself in the moment—it feels like loving well.

But after 23 years of marriage and another 3 year relationship, I can finally name it:

I stopped liking the version of myself I was becoming.

Not all at once. Quietly. Slowly. Kindly.

And that might be the most dangerous way.

Maybe the question isn’t who do I love—

but who do I become when I’m with them?

I’ve been joking that I’ve been dating for Jesus. Every man checked the box: Christian.

But when I asked about faith, the answers didn’t match the label.

One thought the Old Testament should be discarded.

One believed he wasn’t good enough to be saved.

One was still trying to figure it out.

Then came the man who looked like the answer to prayer—loved Jesus, loved family, stable, intelligent.

And yet… something was missing.

He said the right things.

He did the right things.

But he didn’t listen.

I realized faith without understanding sounds a lot like love without presence.

And once again, I felt myself adjusting—softening—shifting.

Different eggs. Same pattern.

Here’s what changed everything:

I reconnected to someone unexpected. And when I was with him, I noticed something simple—and huge.

I liked me.

So now I’m learning to order my eggs the way I like them. The work now isn’t about blaming the past.

It’s about asking better questions moving forward.

• What do I actually like?

• What brings me peace?

• Who am I when no one is influencing the answer?

Because real partnership doesn’t require mimicry.

Real love doesn’t erase preferences.

And the right relationship won’t make you quieter—it will make you clearer.

This time, I’m not running from the altar. I’m running toward myself.

Because faith without understanding is noise.

Words without listening are hollow.

And chemistry without self-respect is costly.

Your person won’t just love God.

They’ll help you love yourself.

Unforgettable Foreigner concert at the Ryman- I want to know what Love is